


Splitting at the Seams

by knightship



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: FtM Dick, Gen, Gender Issues, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-03
Updated: 2013-04-03
Packaged: 2017-12-07 09:16:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightship/pseuds/knightship
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick would just like things to go back to the way they were, all this change- it seems overwhelming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Splitting at the Seams

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, this is old, old, old, 2011. Orignally [posted on my livejournal](http://exterra-astris.livejournal.com/20868.html) for yj anon meme for a prompt about Dick being ftm.

He's just doing stretches. Normal, not-even-enough-to-feel-it stretches, when suddenly he hears a seam rip.

That rip is like the end of the world.

Robin had noticed that maybe his costume was getting a little snug across the hips, and maybe it constricted his breathing a bit. But come on, bandages were usually worse, and if he had to wriggle a bit to get into it, it was just because he was growing, right? More muscle, he told himself.

But this rip was like a hole ripped through his obliviousness- his body was changing in ways that he didn't like. At all.

Wally snickered, pulling at his toes as he stretched out his legs. "Eat too much a lunch, Rob?"

Robin didn't mean to snap. But hanging around Jason tended to make his off-the-handle insults a little more...colorful.

The gobsmacked look on Wally's face would have been priceless if he didn't feel so crummy about it.

Robin disappears into the bathroom for a swift evaluation of the damage. He checks his appearance with a careful, critical, and maybe pathological eye. The armor protects from the illusion of breasts, thank god, and it's not as if he's reached the point where he needs a training bra.

The rip slits from just above the hip to top of the thigh, and he can't tug the cloth back together- it's too tough.

He closes his eyes and counts to fifty. Then a hundred. Finally, after a thousand seconds, he curses desperately and goes back to the locker room to change.

"Robin?"

He flinches at Artemis' voice. He's changed back into civvies, sweatshirt zippered up and hands in his pockets. Artemis looks surprised.

"You get a call from Bats or something?" He grins.

"Yeah, gotta go bring in Catwoman. Jewel heist or something." She crosses her arms.

"Liar. I just passed him on the way in, he was at the computer." Robin stiffens, regarding her casually shrewd stare with anger.

"I have to go home," he says slowly. Robin turns and heads down the hallway, but she follows him.

"You've been acting weird lately, Rob. What's going on with you? You having puberty issues or something?" He wants to whip around and punch her in the face, sweep her legs out from under and tell her that yeah, he's having puberty issues.

But instead he grinds his teeth and speeds up. By the time he gets to the vehicle hangar, she's given up, and he kicks his bike to life with a vengeance.

-

That night Dick does something he hasn't done in ages- he looks at himself in the mirror as he gets out of the shower.

He remembers the flat shapes of eleven, his muscles in his shoulders, back and legs his only source of pride next to the angles of his hipbones and a naked, flat groin. That's changed, now. There isn't an ounce of fat on him, of course, but his hips have rounded and his waist has dipped in at a precarious angle that makes him want to gouge at the gap with a protractor, try to measure it out. And the softness of his chest makes him pale as he twists from side to side- did the swell use to be that bad? Did his nipples use to stick out quite that much?

He throws clothes on quickly- he's taken to wearing baggy sweats lately- and pads down the hall, where rock music blares out from behind a doorway. After shifting his weight from side to side for a moment, he knocks hard, and after a moment Jason comes to the door, chest shamelessly bare and boxers riding low on his hips.

It takes him a minute to look conscious, but he takes one look at Dick's face and his defensive, arms-crossed stance and opens the door wider.

Dick collapses on the familiar bed and fidgets with his Academy sweatshirt, while Jason does something about the rather alarming pile of clothes on the floor. And then the music changes from what sounds like Pantera to what he thinks off hand is La Roux, but can't be sure. It's something emotive and kind of techno, anyways, so he can calm down a little. Jason drapes himself dramatically on his side, head propped on his hand, and says,

"What's up, kid?" He evaluates his torn-up knuckles for a moment, the neat edges of his nails, and then blows out a breath.

"We haven't done measurements for a while. And my costume ripped today." Jason's brows look red again in this light- Bruce would bitch about dying them if he could see. They furrow, and Dick tries to master the way his face wants to scrunch in misery at Jason's confused, slightly frustrated look.

"Didja catch it on something, or did one of the other Rugrats rip it? 'Cause you got spares, Dick." Dick's mouth twitches.

"No. I was stretching- lazy stretching, mind you- and it just sorta ripped at the seam. At the hip." Jason sits up slowly, and without a hint of decorum pushes Dick's sweatshirt up and tugs his sweatpants down, gauging the width of his hips with big hands.

It's a weird thing, but this complete disregard Jason has for his body is a relief. Dick has seen his older brother flirt with girls who aren't even old enough to spell "attractive", and yet Jason has seen him completely naked and looked utterly bored. In Jason's mind, he is unquestionably male, in that the body he possesses is male because he is male in spirit.

Alfred has always thought it's improper the way Jason handles him, and Bruce always frowns, but it's a relief to Dick, even now. After a moment Jason gets up and goes to his half-buried desk, coming back with a measuring tape. Dick goes rigid with discomfort, letting Jason manipulate his body to measure hips, waist, bust, shoulders, arms, legs, all of it. When he's done Dick fixes his shambled clothing and presses his face into Jason's pillow, accepting the fingers that card roughly through his hair.

"You know, I bet Alfred could make a binder. Or we could have one here by tomorrow, if you want." Dick shrugs, because a binder means admitting the truth of his expanding body, and just- no. He's not ready.

-

Dick wakes up the next morning with the rather distinct feel that someone has knifed him in the gut. The pain is an intense, internal ache- not a stomach ache, but almost. It leaves him feeling horrid as he rolls out of bed, and he goes to the bathroom with an uncertain clenching in his stomach.

The feeling continues for a day or so. The ache makes him moody and weak, but he's used to feeling like crap in the middle of training- Bruce has taught him to ignore the protests of his body and push himself to his limit. But it's his relationships with his friends that truly suffer, especially when Megan asks him to help her practice her new cheerleading routine.

"I- Robin, I'm sorry if I offended you! I didn't mean to!" Robin makes sure to turn a corner, then ducks up against the wall, and when Megan dashes around the corner he snags her hand, pressing his fingers into joints. She gasps.

"Don't you dare mock me like that," he hisses, gripped by a wave of irrational anger. The humiliation is enough to make him want to bolt, but he won't let her manipulate him.

"No, Robin, I honestly didn't think- I'm sorry! I won't do it again!" Her eyes plead, and he can feel, with sudden clarity, that she is in his mind. When she realizes this she moves towards the pain, easing it with a soft push.

The pain ebbs, and he slowly lets go of her. Suddenly all of it seems silly and embarrassing- Megan has known about him since they first met, and never once has she been anything but nice about it.

"I- No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have overreacted like that. I'm sorry Megan. I shouldn't be so insecure about this." She smiles softly and takes his hand, her green skin cool against his.

"Dick, you're body is trying to tell you something. You might want to think about listening before tomorrow." With that little whispered tidbit, she gives him a peck on the cheek and hurries off to argue loudly with Wally about helping her practice.

It takes a long, slow amount of time for Dick to finally get it and when he does, he feels sicker than ever.

He calls Jason immediately, and sequesters himself in the bathroom to make the fatal phone call.

"Yo, little bird. Kind of busy right now." He unties his shoe laces, then reties them.

"Red, you love me, right?" There's an ominous meow, and suddenly Jason huffs, snorting a laugh. Dick squirms, curious despite himself.

"Are you with Catwoman, Red?" There's a sultry woman's laugh, and Dick just has to roll his eyes.

"Red Robin and I are practicing our bondage right now, little bird, now's not a good time." Dick really, really wants to laugh.

"Please tell me you're not actually sleeping with her, Red. Bats will be pissed that you stole his girl." Catwoman purrs.

"I'm up for playing with Bats anytime, but I like my prey a little younger. Red's only too happy to play with me." Jason laughs, and then grunts.

"I'm tying her up for the cops, Robin. Keep your shorts on." There it is- Dick finally notices the sound of a cinching cable, and Catwoman whimpers.

"Ouch, birdy, don't play so rough." Dick sighs.

"Is this a bad time? Because I can do it, I just..." He reties his shoe again, and then there's the click of Jason taking him off of speakerphone.

"What is it, Robin? You know you can ask me." He fidgets.

"Megan warned me to buy feminine products before tomorrow and I don't want to go alone." The words bubble up in a swell of super awkwardness, and Jason just goes, "Oh. Oh. Um..." and Dick is sure he'll say no. Jason has had umpteen girlfriends, and it doesn't matter how long they've been dating or how much he likes her- Jason Todd does not buy feminine products. He is a man, and will not stoop to such lows.

"Yeah, sure, bro. I can be there at 2, if you want?" Dick nearly laughs, but agrees, and when he finishes his call he feels almost cheerful. Less anxious, at least, and Megan's mental push is doing wonders for the pain.

-

After a rather tumultuous night, Dick goes to Mt. Justice the next day emotional wiped out but sort of better. After a slightly hysterical conversation over dinner in which Bruce and Alfred made him feel very awkward and Jason bullied them for being so close-minded, and then they called Dinah because she was nice and explained that tampons were not going to be any good until he was older, and to please god use pads, lest he emotionally scar himself for life.

He'd been a little distraught that morning when he actually woke up to find blood in his underwear, and he'd maybe cried for a disturbingly long time, but by the time school let out he felt better. Dick headed to Mt. Justice, and it wasn't until he was in his locker room that he even thought about that mornings events.

Because he forgot that he'd shoved pads and a bottle of Midol in the very top of his bag, and so when he unzipped it, three pads the bottle fell out onto the boy's locker room floor, where Kaldur, Wally, and Conner all stopped to look at them.

They all look up with wide eyes (Conner's are confused, poor thing) and in that single frame of time Robin decides to disappear into the shadows. He's gone before Wally can get out more than a syllable.

-

Wally's the one to find him, because it seems that Wally will always be the one to find him.

"How long have you been hanging there like a creep?" Wally yells up into the rocky bowels of the vehicle hangar. Robin shifts unsteadily- his head is pounding, but he's been clinging to this rockface for about twenty minutes now, and decidedly not freaking out.

"Can't you just lock yourself in the bathroom, like a normal teenager?" Wally yells, and Robin narrows his eyes behind his slipping sunglasses.

"Oh yeah, like running from Central City to Gotham when you have a disagreement with your mom is normal? Don't even lecture me on normal, Wally, 'cause you and I are definitely not." Wally huffs.

"Dude, just tell me what's going on. I'm your friend, I'm not gonna freak out. We're freaking superheroes, what can you throw at me that I haven't seen before?" Robin shifts again, uncomfortable, before dropping into a controlled fall, stopping himself on the wall once before dropping to the ground. The rush of blood back to the rest of his body is heady, and he sways for a moment before squaring his shoulders and saying slowly.

"I'm transexual." Wally stares for a moment, trying to wrap his giant science brain around two words (granted, one of them is a contraction), and then he says mildly,

"Well, I guess I haven't seen that one before. Does that make you a lesbian?" Robin stares at him back for a long moment.

"That's all you have to say?! I-no! I don't even know! Sexuality is just-" and he makes some waving gesture that he hopes means "in the goddamn future". Wally nods sagely, shrugging.

"I'm fifteen, what do you expect me to ask? So...wait. You're... menstruating, then." Robin does something between a shy nod and a shrug, and Wally sighs.

"Thank god! I thought you were literally going insane there for a while. Actually, this clears a lot of stuff, now that I think about it." Robin punches him, and then Wally catches him around the neck and gives him a noogie.

They end up beating the crap out of each other between explaining to the rest of the team. All is well.

-

"-too stressful. At the least, put him on birth control." Robin pauses. Over the past two months, things have stitched together well with the team. He has off days, just like everyone else, although his seem to be a bit more frequent than theirs. Mostly, he manages, and his friends help.

But in the next room...are they talking about him?

"I will not put Robin on birth control. I don't think it's healthy, he's too young. I know he's not a girl, but his body is, and that doesn't mean he can neglect his health because he doesn't like how his body is turning out."

That's Bruce, and why the hell are they talking about birth control? Are they afraid someone's going to rape him or something?

"We've done our research, Bats. There's no adverse effects on using birth control at thirteen, and neither is there in using hormone suppressants. Look at these reports! The studies are extensive, and legitimate. Look, here's one from the Atom himself!" Robin hears the heavy thump of Wally putting papers on the table, and the sound of flickering pages for long, silent moments. He has no idea what to think of this. His team mates are propositioning Bruce to get him on hormone suppressants? What for?

"Look, we just want him happy. This whole puberty thing is driving him a little bit insane. It's not good." Artemis and Wally are agreeing on something. What the hell has the world come to.

And then he realizes. That they're trying to help him become a boy. Not just in his head or in other people's eyes because of how he dresses- actually a boy. It's a thought that's been a vague, distant dream for long enough to be nearly unreachable. They're trying to help him reach that goal.

"I still say he's too young," Bruce says in his dark, grave tones.

"Perhaps we should ask Robin himself?" Kaldur suggests, and then Bruce says, "Robin. Come here."

He comes out from behind the corner and before anyone can even say anything he blurts,

"If you offered suppressants to me I'd take them without a second's hesitation." Artemis and Wally think they're being covert when they grin at each other and bump fists, but Robin sees them. Batman is doing that not-quite glare that means Bruce is thinking, and finally he says,

"We'll schedule a doctor's appointment," and it feels like life is finally starting to make sense again for the first time since that rip.


End file.
